This is my birthday gift from me, to you! Through all the many failures, mistakes and victories that I have experienced, here are the 28 things I have learned in my young 28 years of life:
Life Is Long, Not Short.
It is never too late to do or be who you want to be. And life is not about time management, but about energy management. Time is a human construct, energy is the essence of life. Bring life into everything you do. You and I both have the same ’24 hours’ in a day. The real question is, how much life and energy do you bring into the time you do have? How you do anything is how you do everything.
What Is Essential Is Invisible To The Eye.
You are a spiritual being having a physical experience. The more you ignore this truth and those needs, the more empty and dull life feels. Everything you need is already within you.
Know Your People.
In times of need and crisis, the people who will actually be there for you and care about you is a very small circle. Don’t forget that. The crowning characteristic of love is loyalty. Figure out who those people are, and never take them for granted.
Beliefs Are Everything.
Beliefs are choices. Your beliefs shape your destiny. You become what you believe. Your beliefs are the lens through which you view the world. Believe wisely, and most of all, believe in yourself.
Life Is A Matter Of Choices.
We aren’t here to be tested or to learn lessons, but to experience. We are here to remember who we were before the world told us who we should be. So get out and experience. Each experience is an opportunity for you to declare, “This is Who I Am”, or if not, to choose a new experience. Through each choice you make, you are constantly creating Who You Are. The creation process never stops.
Fear Is Your Friend.
It is hard to fear that which you love. Embrace your fears, they will guide you where you need to go. The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. Fear is your compass.
Curiosity Will Save You.
Chase your curiosity. That is how your Soul communicates her deepest desires. Expect everything, attach to nothing. Curiosity saved my life. Literally.
Learn How To Adapt.
It is in fact not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change. Life becomes much easier when you become comfortable with the uncomfortable. Adapt, or die.
Just Do It.
Action is the antidote to fear. Don’t “try” to do anything. Do it. Stop thinking, stop planning. Just do what you feel is right. Action, action, action. The more you fail through doing, the faster you learn and grow. Perfection is boring and unrelatable.
You Are The Artist.
You get out of life what you tolerate. You are the artist, life is your canvas. If you don’t like what you have created so far, it’s okay. Don’t condemn it. Recognize it, and change it. You are never not the artist. Take charge, grow a pair, and start living your life by design, not default.
Environment, Environment, Environment.
Environment really is everything. It will make or break you. Surround yourself with positivity, both physically and emotionally. Surround yourself with people that respect and love you and see your limitless potential and who push you to push yourself. No drama or negativity. No jealousy or gossip. Just positive vibes, inspiring words and simply bringing out the best in each other. And if you really want to find peace, create your own personal sacred space.
Be Your Own Hero.
No one is coming to save you. You are the hero to your own story. If you want to enjoy the fruits of victory you have to be willing to taste of the agony of defeat. Failure is temporary. So get back up, dust yourself off, pick up your sword, and go slay those dragons. You got a princess (or yourself) to save.
Bliss Is Captured In The Small Moments.
Fall in love with the perfect moments. I like to call these “snapshot” moments. Life is rhythmic; it ebbs and flows. The real key to living a life of bliss and fulfillment is in spotting those “snapshot” moments. The quick but powerful blips in time. That gorgeous sunset after a long and difficult day. The smile on a strangers face in the midst of tragedy. The fleeting feelings of peace and comfort after a terrible loss. It is easy to be happy when everything is going well. The real test is to find joy when things aren’t going your way. If you can master that, I assure you, you will live an abundant life.
Everything Is Impermanent.
When I lived with the monks we would chant this mantra every morning. Enjoy the good moments when you have them and be appreciative. And when life is difficult and the world seems to be piling on top of you, realize that this too shall pass. Don’t float away with the highs of life, and don’t drown in the lows. Be calm and live in the now.
Are You The Slave Or The Master?
True freedom requires self-mastery. Learn how to control your emotions, your thoughts and your reactions. You can’t control what circumstances happen to you, but you can control your reaction to those events and the story that you tell yourself. So set boundaries, commit to yourself, and do hard things. Self-control is strength, right thought is mastery, calmness is power. If you don’t master yourself, you risk being a slave to everything else.
Nothing Is Coincidence.
Synchronicity is the universe trying to communicate with you. Be aware, be observant, and follow those omens.
Attention Is Power.
Where your attention goes, energy flows. What you focus on grows, and what you remove your attention from withers and dies. Your mind is the magnifying glass that harnesses the power and heat of the Sun, and if focused without distraction over a certain period of time, you can achieve anything you desire and burn and melt anything in your path that stands in the way of your dreams. Distraction is the enemy of growth.
We Are All Interconnected.
Every choice, every thought and every word affects EVERYONE. Literally. The ripple effect is real. When you hurt others, you hurt yourself. If you never heal from what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you. The more you improve and love yourself, the more you improve everything around you. So if you want to heal the world and all the wonderful fishies in the sea, first heal yourself.
Input = Output.
If you consume garbage, negativity and impurity, that is exactly what you will create and produce. Be vigilant. Don’t put bad fuel in your new Range Rover and not expect your engine to eventually burn out and fail. Want to really transform and kick your personal development up a couple notches? Read at least one book a month.
Do It For You, First.
The more you invest in yourself, the more you can give to others. The more you love and respect yourself, the more you will overflow that love and compassion for others. It doesn’t start by trying to improve and change others. It begins with you changing yourself. You can’t give a dollar away if you don’t have a dollar to give. Invest in and take care of yourself for you are your greatest asset. Be fit for service so you can be of service. Be healthy and fit mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically.
Express Your Soul.
Music, discovery and art are expressions of the soul. Immerse yourself in these fantasies and express who you are. Never hold back. Be unapologetically yourself. As Neal Walsch says, “When was the last time you felt your soul being expressed? When was the last time you cried with joy? Wrote poetry? Made music? Danced in the rain? Baked a pie? Painted anything? Fixed something that was broken? Kissed a baby? Held a cat to your face? Hiked up a hill? Swam naked? Walked at sunrise? Played the harmonica? Talked ’til dawn? Made love for hours… on a beach, in the woods? Communed with nature? Searched for God? When was the last time you sat alone with the silence, traveling to the deepest part of your being? When was the last time you said hello to your soul?”
Life Is About Perspective.
Anxiety and Excitement produce the exact same chemical reaction in your brain and body, it just depends on how you interpret it. Everything is about frame of reference. You either see a problem or you see an opportunity to overcome a challenge. You are either the victim or you are the one that decides to take accountability so you can grow. Life is either working against you or working for you. You are a pessimist or an optimist. Perspective… the choice is yours.
Recognize How Blessed You Really Are.
One of the most pivotal experiences of my life was living on the streets with the homeless for 50 days. I’ll tell you this right now: If you have a bed to sleep in at night, a roof over your head and some food to eat everyday, you are doing just fine. You are blessed.
Give Yourself Permission To Play.
As a society we have adopted a horribly false belief that we have to learn through suffering. That we have to learn through pain, loss and tragedy. You can learn through joy. You can grow through tears of happiness and ecstasy. And you can connect deeply with others through laughter. The purpose of life is to have joy, not to spend your entire life trying to find it. Embrace the magical child within you, ignite your imagination and lose yourself in adventure and play.
Connection Is Currency.
Humans are wired for connection, for community, for tribes, for family. The opposite of addiction is connection. A human’s deepest desire is to connect with other human beings and share a common goal; to share something that matters. Find that. Surround yourself with people that care about the things you care about and that value the things you value. If you can’t find that, create it.
If You Want To Grow, Have A Vivid Vision.
Besides fear, the greatest soul killer is lack of a definitive purpose. Where there is no vision, the people perish. What is it that sets you on fire? What do you want to experience in the world? What problem do you want to eradicate? What cause are you compassionate about? What do you do in your spare time? Here is the secret about purpose: it is not something you find. It is something you decide, and then you dedicate the rest of your time and energy in bringing it to fruition.
Beauty Is Magic.
Aesthetic was one of Maslow’s revised Eight Hierarchy of Needs. Surround yourself with beauty. Buy some new flowers and put them on your desk. Repaint your office and bring in some life. Buy that new outfit that looks amazing and makes you feel like a Queen. Spend time in nature. I mean this literally… beauty is magic. It will change you. It will change how you feel, sense and see the world. Try it.
Memento Mori.
You will die someday. Have you thought about that? Think about your funeral and what people will say about you. Write your obituary. It’s not morbid, it’s acceptance. Death is an illusion. It is not the end but merely the beginning of a new journey. Please don’t have regrets. Live life on your own terms. Do not be crippled by fear and by the opinions of others. Follow your gut and do what you feel is right. Love yourself. Don’t judge your intentions, and avoid shame and guilt. Do not let others determine the type of life you ought to live. You are going to die. I promise. No one escapes it. Death doesn’t matter, life does. So once you have pondered about your death, focus the rest of your time on life. How do you want to live and how do you want to be remembered? Now go build it, live it and enjoy it while you still have time.
BONUS:
Life is about balance. That is also a lie. You see, life is a paradox. As much as it is about balance it is also about going into the extremes and having new experiences which allow you to grow and progress, but it also forces you to find a new “center”. A new normal. Balance isn’t about staying in the middle; it is about pushing the limits on either side while remaining grounded and centered in yourself. A better word would be alignment. When what you think, what you say, and what you do is aligned, you will have found happiness.