22 MOST IMPACTFUL LESSONS I LEARNED
We adapt easy, but we also attach easy
When I entered the monastery to live with the monks, I was terrified. When I left the monastery after living with the monks for a month, I was terrified. Why? As human beings we get so comfortable with our surroundings so quickly. We adapt extremely fast. But be careful… when the uncomfortable soon becomes comfortable, it’s time for the next phase of growth.
We are addicted to security + comfort
What stops so many people from pursuing their dreams and taking that leap of faith is our addiction to security and comfort. It’s absolutely crippling us. The foundation of freedom is wildness. Expansion. Growth. Trust me, security and comfort are overrated. The best is out there in the big “scary” world. The real gems are hiding in the mysteries of the unknown.
On the other side of fear lies abundance
Oh no… not the scary F word again. FEAR. Here’s the big secret about fear that no one is talking about: it’s all an illusion. Once you face it, you realize it’s not scary at all. It’s like a wall of fog hovering mysteriously above the path you need to embark on, and it looks terrifying, but once you walk through it you realize it dissipates as you approach and move through it. You discover that the foggy “wall” that was blocking your path was nothing but a mere illusion. On the other side awaits the beautiful sunshine.
If we actually knew how hard some things would be we wouldn’t do them
If I knew how terrifying, difficult and how many fears I would have to face in living with the homeless for 50 days, I never in a million years would have embarked upon that journey. No way in hell. The sooner you adopt the mentality of biting off more than you can chew and then figuring out the process after, the more fulfilling of a life you will build for yourself.
Lack of EXTERNAL safety exposes our own lack of INTERNAL safety
We saw the truth of this during the recent pandemic that pushed people to self-isolate out of pure fear. There was a study done that showed that those people who were more insecure and felt unsafe within themselves requested more external restrictions from their government and community. Where as those who felt more internally safe and secure within their state of being preferred less external restrictions and much more freedom and autonomy. Our outer world reflects our inner world.
It’s okay to do things just because
Stop explaining things to people. It’s a waste of time and energy. You don’t owe anybody anything. Why did I live in a Tibetan ashram with 26 monks and then live on the streets with the homeless for 50 days? Because I wanted to. So I did. End of story
Conception vs. Experience
We’ve become a society of professional talkers and keyboard warriors. We are so inundated with information that we read a couple books, take an online course and get a paper certificate and all the sudden we are a f*ckin guru or God. Things are so much different once you become a practitioner. A doer. It’s so much different actually experiencing the thing in real time as opposed to just conceiving something in your mind. Think you understand the homeless epidemic and have developed a strategy to eliminate this problem? Go actually live with them for some time and walk in their shoes… then you will see how different your assumption is from the reality. We need more doers in the world. More practitioners. Less talking.
A simple life = a happy life
Simple is the hardest genre. By the end of my journey with the homeless I remember sitting on the curb outside a 7-11 gas station in Huntington Beach. The sun was shining, I had nothing to my name, and I’ve never felt more liberated in my life. What was I gonna do that day? Whatever I wanted. I had nothing weighing me down. And not just in the material sense, but emotionally as well. Living on the streets had purged all the fear out of me. It purged my ego and my desire for more, more, more. It taught me to live in the moment. To bask in the joy of the simple things like the sun shining on my face outside a gas station. I was alive :)
We are way more capable than we think
This is one of those tricky ones. You can’t actually know this and believe this unless you truly experience it for yourself firsthand. Usually, it’s not until we find ourselves in an extremely dire situation (like trying to hitch a ride and not eating food for three days in the middle of nowhere) that we finally give our Higher Self permission to unlock our untapped power and line of support that has always been available to us. That pure confidence. That unwavering knowing. That boldness to take the jump into living life fully.
You have to sit in chaos long enough to establish order
On the third day of being homeless, I was in the trinity forest up near Mt. Shasta. I was so helpless and terrified that I just broke down in tears. I was panicking. The tough Talen had been broken. I hadn’t fully realized the psychological and emotional impact of actually being homeless. Things you just don’t think about until you are living it (Lesson #7). The sheer mental anguish and pressure of having no money, nowhere to lay my head at night, no safety, no food or water, no connections. No safety net. No lifeline. This was the real life of a homeless human. It was on this third day in this dark moment that a voice came through and I heard this phrase verbatim: “Talen, you have to sit in chaos long enough to establish order.” And so in that hopeless state, I listened. I let the fear and chaos of the unknown consume me… I surrendered. And magic followed.
Do what you say you are gonna do
I learned this lesson the hard way. I would always say that I was a generous person because I believed deeply that the ever-loving and benevolent Universe had my back! Or did I? As I sat down kneeling in my very last meditation on my last day at the Ashram with the monks, a quiet impulse came through to my mind: “Talen, if you really are generous and trust the Universe, give away everything you have.” Wait what? Are you insane? “You say that you are a generous person. Prove it. Give away everything you have.” And that is the short story of how I was backed into a corner and forced to make a choice. Do I honor my word and act with courage, or do I cower, go against my word and compromise my Soul by giving into fear? Well as you know from the ending of the story… I ended up actually giving everything away. Welcome to now being homeless Talen :)
The Soul grows through adventure & shines through beauty
Our true selves are CRAVING adventure. We are wired to expand; to explore and experience and experiment. It’s so deeply simple that we have drifted away from this truth in search of complexity so our minds have problems to solve. We didn’t come to earth to just solve problems. We came to Earth to create more beauty. To put more life into everything we interact with. We came to Earth as tourists to simply enjoy and grow in this grand ole’ adventure.
The deepest parts of our Self emerge in the darkest moments
Ain’t this the beautiful truth. A lot of us have this vault thats hidden deeeeeep within the deepest layers of our subconscious. It’s locked away with deep, painful memories, fears and traumas. Most of us don’t know how to access it. In fact, most people aren’t even aware it’s a part of them. But when you find yourself in a really dark phase of your life, you descend so deep into yourself that you finally get a glimpse at this vault. And for the first time ever, you aren’t scared to open it. You have nothing left to lose. You’re vulnerable, raw and filleted open. And so with humility and meekness, you unlock the vault. And what you realize astonishes you… The deepest parts of yourself also contained the most powerful parts of yourself. Darkness is simply light wearing a mask.
Humans are inherently more good than evil
I cannot even begin to tell you the plethora of amazing human beings that I encountered while living with the homeless for 50 days. People that picked me up to give me a ride. People who payed for my meals. People who stopped to simply strike up a conversation and get to know my story and who I was. Other homeless people that took me under their wing, who protected me and shared with me tips on navigating the world of homelessness. Strangers who shared with me their stories of life and how they got to where they are. If there was one big takeaway from this whole experience, it’s that humans are awesome.
If you wanna change your narrative, change your patterns and routines
Wanna know the hack to growth + self-development? Pattern disruption. Every single day we do the same things, wake up with the same thoughts in the same bed, we go to the same job at the same time and see the same people, only to then come home to the same environment with the same energy, and then go to bed with the same overall feelings of the very mediocre day that you seem to repeat daily. These are patterns. And they NEED to be disrupted. Broken. If you are stagnant or stuck in life, you need to disrupt your patterns. The easiest way is to get out in the world! Book a trip to somewhere unknown and wing it. Full send. Trust yourself that you will be able to navigate the unknown and take care of yourself. When you do, that’s when the entire game changes.
Everyone has a story
Context creates compassion. Humbling is an understatement when it comes to my journey with the homeless. And for a lot of reasons. But one in particular is because of the amazing and unique human beings I met and the stories they shared with me. Some were shocking. Some were so sad and made me emotional. Some stories were so funny I couldn’t stop laughing, and others were so dark and disturbing that I simply kept my mouth shut in pure awe and disbelief. I spent 50 days learning about Human Beings through the power of storytelling. So before you begin to judge people or label them, take a pause. They have a story just like you. They’re human.
Trust is feeling with your heart, not thinking with your mind
This took me a long time to learn and you’ll never guess who taught me this lesson! The trees. Huh? Yeah, the frickin trees. I was so scared in the beginning of my journey that I was subconsciously seeking a source of safety. I would soon discover that that source was myself (imagine that), but until then, the trees became my safe haven. The forest. They felt so alive and protective. They felt real. I felt like they were watching over me. It sounds a little crazy, but it was anything but crazy to me. Being homeless was filled with so much chaos and anxiety because there was zero security. I would run into extremely hostile homeless “groups” that would threaten me and try to mug me. I would experience wild animals up in the trinity forest and below freezing temperatures sleeping outside. I experienced days without food, not knowing from where or when my meal could come. So when I escaped into the trees, it felt calm. I felt protected. And that’s where I learned to feel from my heart, and to trust the energy around me.
The homeless want to remain homeless
This one is controversial. But unless you’ve actually lived with them in real time on the streets, it’s difficult to understand the layered complexity of this issue. This is obviously an overgeneralization, but the fact of the matter is that the homeless epidemic is beyond repair. Why? Because most of them don’t want to go back to society. I had hours after hours of deep conversation with many homeless individuals (both drug addicts and those sober) and they all carried a similar sentiment; they feel more welcome on the streets than they do as a common pawn in society. They have no bills. They have formed their own community on the streets. They are free from responsibility and accountability. They are growing in numbers. They don’t have to pay taxes. The list goes on and on as to why they want to remain on the streets. In my opinion, the problem isn’t the homelessness. The real problem is the fact that our society is so corrupt and filled with poison, that hoards of humans would rather live on the streets outside the matrix than be a part of it. That’s the real problem.
Monks understand a deep truth: when you heal yourself you heal the world
Part of my curiosity to live in a monastery with monks was to get an answer to one of my long speculated questions: If monks are so spiritually enlightened, why do they alienate themselves from society when clearly we need their help? Why “hide” away in the mountains when they could be a very proactive part of rebuilding our communities? As I meditated for hours on end right alongside these enlightened masters, I quickly learned a simple truth. Energy is not bound by space or time. The Monks devotion to their practice rippled well beyond the monastery. The high vibrating energy poured over into the surrounding nature, into the communities and town near the monastery, and to every heart that came in contact with them. It carried over to me, which then rippled out to everyone I came in contact with. The more we heal ourselves, the more we heal the world. Everything is connected. And in the end, all is One.
We don’t need a lot to live
I understand every situation is different. Some people have more resources than others, others more opportunities and connections. Some are single, some have kids, some are disabled and some are just lucky. But overall we need to understand that life was meant to be simple, not complex. We are in an epoch of overconsumption. Too much information, food, options, choices, stimulation, etc. It’s not about adding to your life but subtracting from your life. We just don’t need as much as we think we need to live. And that’s a very relieving realization.
Humans are designed to be emotional alchemists
All of us on this spinning rock called Earth have a common mission. To learn how to transmute energy. To learn how to raise vibration in order to become a more enlightened and thriving civilization. How do you do that? You alchemize emotions. Take for example lesson #10. I was learning in real time how to alchemize and transmute chaos into order. How to transmute fear into faith, pain into power, lack of safety into an abundance of inner security. We are here on this planet to be emotional alchemists!!! To learn how to turn our pain and grievances into ART!
Magic only happens when you’re not in a hurry
As the train gracefully rolled through the vineyards, I found myself in a state of awe and contentment at the beauty surrounding me. Not just the workers in the fields who enthusiastically waved to the train as it rolled by, but the good company I found myself seated with. It had been about a month now that I had been living on the streets with the homeless.
I had no money and nothing to my name, so I snuck onto the Amtrak train in Redding, California. I had already hitchhiked over 100 miles starting up in Weed, CA, but it was grueling and had taken a a few days just to cover that distance, not to mention I almost died. After sneaking past two policeman and one stewardess checking tickets on the train, I found myself seated next to three lovely old ladies in the exclusive dining car at the front of the train. I hadn’t had an actual meal in probably about three days now, so I was famished. These ladies took me in like I was there own and we began to engage in deep conversation over the period of the next six hours that I stayed on the train.
Near the tail end of the conversation I turned to one of the ladies and asked her, “Looking back on the long and full life that you have now lived, what golden advice do you have for me that you wish you knew in your twenties?” Without hesitation, a calm and steady smile appeared on her weathered skin and she replied,
“Magic only happens when you’re not in a hurry.”
Wow. There was something about that simple drop of wisdom that struck a deep chord with me. I’ve never forgotten it.
So enjoy life. Take a little more time to appreciate the small things. And let the magic flow into your life.
X
TALEN