MY LIFE seems to be a series of radical adventures that appear out of thin air, only to then morph into some of the most valuable life lessons that I couldn’t have learned if I read an entire library of books. As time accelerates, I learn more and more about myself and who I really am. In peeling back the many societal programmings and belief systems we are indoctrinated into, I am continuously surprised at how much of ourselves is undiscovered. How much we don’t know what we don’t know. I’ve come to realize that I’m an interactive learner. I don’t want to watch a documentary or listen to an audio book; I want to be immersed into the belly of the beast.
I want to feel it and be in it. I want to suspend all personal beliefs and expand my perspective even further. I don’t know if that’s how I’ve always been, but the more I grow through life, the more I seem to desire getting right to the root of the experience itself. Right to the heart. I often wonder, “What is the most raw, authentic version of this experience that I could witness?” Over the past couple weeks, that experience was in the jungles of Columbia.
In the words of Christopher McCandless, happiness is only real when shared. So here’s 10 insights and lessons I learned from my latest life experience:
Fear is your compass.
This has been one of my personal mantras for almost a decade now. What we don’t realize is that fear oftentimes appears in the form of resistance. The degree of fear equates to the strength of resistance. Steven Pressfield states, “The more important a call or action to our soul’s evolution, the more resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.” This blog post would be pages long if I recounted the resistance I faced in getting to Columbia. Sometimes, we mistake that resistance and fear as ‘it’s not meant to be.’ Maybe. But what if our fear and resistance was telling us something? How do we decipher that message if we don’t face and acknowledge our fears? Just as the pearl is created from an irritation within the oyster, there is always a gift within the shadow. Don’t let your fears scare you, let them guide you.
Community is currency.
My 10 days in the jungle was spent navigating several different modalities and experiences that were offered. Breathwork, plant medicine, body movement, wisdom talks with the tribe elders, consultations, medicinal natural saunas, rest, nervous system regulation, music and dancing. If I’m being honest, I feel like a fish out of water being back in America. It felt as if I entered a portal to a different world. The Inga lineage and people are so intrinsically connected with nature. There is no separation. And because they are one with nature and their surroundings, they are one with each other. The way they each fulfilled their individual roles within their community was like watching a symphony of humans. Every interaction with one another was filled with intention, love and constant laughter and playfulness. Quite a stark contrast from many western communities and schools of thought. No matter what I had on my agenda for the day, the common thread was relationships. Who we surround ourselves with will always be one of the most valuable aspects of our existence. Choose your tribe wisely and invest in your relationships. They are worth more than gold.
Everything is good.
This was one of those golden nuggets that I gleaned from this experience. During my time in the jungle, it included three nights of a plant medicine journey sitting with Yagé, a more potent strain of Ayahuasca. That’s an entire blog in and of itself for another time. Needless to say, it was one of the most challenging yet rewarding experiences of my life. Through those deeply challenging moments and throughout the wisdom talks during the weeks, the head shaman and elder, also known as Taita, would always respond with, “Everything is good!” He continually emphasized and brought my remembrance back to the perfect order and flow of life. How everything is unfolding exactly as it needs to, and all negative experiences are an opportunity for us to transform them into good. Into beauty. Into love. Into positivity and joy. We are all learning and growing, and every experience is working in our favor. We are all students of life, and we all have the same mission. To remember who we are.
Courage is the prerequisite for joy.
There’s a powerful talk by Brené Brown where she states that we can’t selectively feel emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions. Our ability to feel joy is equal to the amount of courage we can summon to accept and embrace our painful emotions. The painful memories. The dark corners of our mind that we hide from others and from ourselves. The things we avoid facing, hoping they will disappear, when in actuality they’re taking up considerable energy and bandwidth in our body, mind and spirit. Take note of what needs to be resolved and regenerated in your life, and take care of it. We rarely give ourselves enough credit for how powerful we truly are. And in those moments where it requires significant courage to face the truth, we meet that power face to face. We meet ourselves. We realize that our shadows are simply light in disguise. Fear is a mile wide and an inch deep. Have the courage to live a joyful existence.
In order to transform, some things must die.
We cling so tight to that which is familiar. We often confuse attachment as connection, so when it comes time to let things go, we tighten our grip. We fall into the illusion that safety is dependent upon something outside of us. In that resistance to the natural process of change, we create suffering. Everything is impermanent. Life operates in seasons, cycles and waves, and because we are an intrinsic part of life, we too must evolve and transform. The death of the courageous caterpillar gives birth to the life of the beautiful butterfly. What are you being called to let go of in your life? Where are you clinging too tightly? This experience taught me a deeper level of trust and surrender. It helped me realize that before I could complete certain transformations in my life, some things needed to die. Beliefs, labels, identities, habits, and limited ways of thinking. When one door closes, many more open.
When did you stop dancing?
In many shamanic societies, if you came to a medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions: "When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing? When did you stop being enchanted by stories? When did you stop being comforted by the sweet territory of silence? I had stopped most of these. Not intentionally. Slowly, unconsciously, over time. I had slipped into a subtle slumber of going through the motions that we so often find ourselves in. Each day that I spent in the jungle was filled with music, storytelling and dancing. It’s a part of who they are. It’s a way of life. It’s a ceremony and a celebration of life itself. I watched as they smiled, laughed and danced like everyone was watching.
The path of gentle discipline.
We seem to live in a culture of extremes. Highly stimulated. Highly polarized. Highly competitive. Even within the spaces of health, wellness and spirituality. The constant striving to improve and to be better. To max out our calendar and automate our day. We are dialed, calculated and efficient. Theres nothing wrong with this per se. Everything serves its purpose. The question is, what purpose is it serving? What is the intention behind the action? What is the energy behind the fixing, improving and streamlining? Are we engaged fully in the journey of growth because we love who we are and what we are becoming, or because we believe we aren’t good enough and must be more? Must do more? This journey guided me to replace judgement with acceptance. To replace criticism with curiosity. To replace harshness with gentleness. The quality of our lives comes down to one thing — our perception of ourselves. And our perception of ourselves is determined by the story that we tell ourselves about ourselves. The key to happiness is progress, and we are wired to evolve and grow. To be disciplined and take responsibility for our life. We are also wired to play, connect and be joyful. Find the balance. Merge the paths. Choose gentle discipline.
The body keeps the score.
I would consider myself a healthy person. It’s one of the core pillars and values of my life. I’m very intentional with my nutrition, body movement and self-care. Even with these as my foundation, I was surprised at how unregulated my nervous system was when I arrived. I had no phone service for two weeks. No contact with the outside world. No fast paced schedule and constant demands and to-do lists. The elimination of these things cleared up a significant amount of space that my mind wasn’t prepared for. I was habituated in having things to “stress” about and react to. It took me a couple days to really calm the mind and regulate my nervous system. To give it time to rest, recharge and rejuvenate. To just be. As the week progressed and I engaged deeper into breathwork, yoga, plant medicine and other healing modalities, my body began to purge and detoxify intensely. I lost about 12 lbs from purging during the ceremonies and sweating in the saunas. My body was becoming lighter and more empty, more able and ready to receive. Releasing fears, worries, beliefs and traumas that I didn’t know were there. Our bodies are extremely intelligent. Our bodies heal themselves if we can simply create the space to do so by removing the stress, toxins and chemicals from our lives. And the more space we create within our bodies, the more receptive and open we are to receiving the divine inspiration, ideas and positive manifestations that we are so earnestly seeking.
Life only exists in the present moment.
“This is the real secret of life — to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.” - Alan Watts.
When I work with clients I help them become aware of the unconscious. To bring light to the hidden subconscious beliefs and limitations that may be holding them back that they don’t perceive. I myself am not at all exempt from this work, and during my 10 days in the Amazon, I discovered an incredibly deep limiting belief within me. I didn’t feel safe to be present. The unlock and awareness of this belief opened up a floodgate of missing pieces and memories that allowed me to connect so many dots. I wasn’t engaged fully in the present moment, I was living in my mind. Constantly planning, analyzing, thinking and strategizing. I share this because I know I wasn’t, and am not the only one. In fact, I would strongly argue that the majority of people aren’t living in the present moment. We drift unconsciously between the past and the future, rarely touching down into the present. And we wonder why statistics of depression and anxiety have skyrocketed? This experience completely shifted my entire state of being. My entire mindset. It healed fragmented parts of my mind and allowed me the space to come back to the present moment and to be more fully engaged with life. And let me tell you, the present moment is fuckin’ beautiful.
You are the missing piece.
I could have easily added ten more insights and lessons learned to this list. I mean, how do you summarize a couple weeks in the jungle with some of the most wise, connected and grounded humans in the world? So it seemed fitting to tie this all up with what I felt to be the overarching lesson and theme of this unique experience. Be you. I try not to get too philosophical and esoteric in my writings. I want to keep it practical and grounded. I want to provide useful value. At the same time, it’s almost impossible to separate the two. For me, spirituality is practical. Discovering our souls and who we are is the most valuable thing we can possibly do, because that is the journey. It’s the inner work. The external world is simply a mirror and byproduct of our inner landscape. People aren’t seeking money, they’re seeking freedom and security. They’re not seeking a significant other or new spouse, they’re seeking connection and love. They’re not seeking achievements and accolades, they’re seeking belonging and being seen. What we are all truly seeking is an internal state, not an external outcome.
When we begin to operate from the inside out, everything begins to shift and align. When we begin to show up fully, authentically and unapologetically as ourselves, from moment to moment, we witness magic. This entire experience taught me that we are safe to be ourselves, take up space and express. That is why we are here. You’re not special, but you are unique. And the more you lean into and embody that uniqueness, the more you discover where you belong. The more free and secure you feel. The more love you feel towards yourself because you are connected to yourself. The more honestly authentic you are, the more you see yourself. And when you see yourself, others begin to see you. As within, so without. You are the missing piece.
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TALEN
If these insights resonate with you and you want to dive deeper into your personal journey of healing, freedom and joy, reach out to me. We’re not meant to grow through life alone.